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At any stage in your dating life, it can feel like you need an administrative assistant just to juggle all your new phone contacts and the epithets you write for them, like: "Derek Tinder," "Jenna Hinge DO NOT DRUNK TEXT," and "Tom Creepy Bumble Date." You can build quite an impressive roster in a short span of swiping and matching, and probably way more than you've ever accumulated IRL. But besides the logistical complications, at what point do you have too many dating matches going on at once?"I encourage singles to casually date multiple people at the same time while you’re still in the getting-to-know you stages," says Samantha Burns, LMHC, a millennial relationship expert."But, if you can’t keep your facts straight and remember details about each person, it’s a sign you’re likely dating too many people." If you can't remember which of your matches has heard your go-to first date anecdote about growing up in a foreign country, for example, it's usually a red flag that you're juggling too many dates, she says. That's a lot of conversation to make, so it's understandable that you'd goof at least once.For some perspective, people who online date on average go on more dates than people who don't, and 63% of online daters go on an average of one to two dates per week, according to a 2017 Tinder survey of 2,502 U. Only 5% of online and offline daters surveyed reported messaging at a "high volume," which means they were talking to between five and seven people, so you can assume the rest of daters likely fall somewhere right under that.But there are obviously lots of other variables that go into whether or not your online dating match turns into a relationship besides time and the number of messages you sent (like you didn't actually click when you met, or the person realized they don't want a relationship).If you're looking for a relationship and want to be efficient, your best bet is to aim to have at most three solid slots for potential partners at one time, Burns says.
If you're in it for a relationship, just being on the apps might lead you on the right track.
"As you rule each in or out, you can always add someone new to the mix until you get to the point where you want to date someone exclusively," she says.
And sending tons of messages to random people might not work toward your advantage, Markowitz says.
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